i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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