Pregnant stripper...not hot.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Randomize
