and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
The air taste purple.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize