So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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