I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
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