Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
