why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
