You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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