walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I looked at my own cervix.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
