Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
