drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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