David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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