i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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