She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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