What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
