Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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