he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
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