He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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