i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
Who did Billy Mays play for?
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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