Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
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