I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
