please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
