To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize
