I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
