I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I work 80 hours a week to prevent myself from just laying in bed and masturbating all day. It's a hands off strategy.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
