remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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