so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize