you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Randomize
