RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
