I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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