a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
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