Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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