drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
