So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize