About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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