WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
