She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
