Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
