I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Bring me that man meat
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Randomize
