Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
