Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Randomize
