can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize