So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
