Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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