some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
