bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
