Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Randomize