Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
