Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
