they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.