I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.