You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
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Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
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Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.