My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
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Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.