you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Randomize
