How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
