i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
