put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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