I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Randomize
