OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
