WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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