Don't make out with my wife yet
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
