the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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