my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
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Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
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I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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