Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
