i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Randomize
