I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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