She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
